Living faith brings peace in the midst of tragedy and struggle
Missing his older daughter who had gone home to the Lord, his younger girl who was in the care of family, and his wife who was struggling to regain her mental, emotional and physical health, Steven Key found himself in a position that may surprise many-a place of remarkable peace and growth in his Christian faith, and a re-commitment to give his all as a disciple of Jesus Christ.
Steven Key: 'God truly knows how to make things work out. Why do we even question it or worry? All we need to do is bring it to him and trust.'
GRAND RAPIDS, MI--Steven Key suffered a tragedy that would bring most men to their knees. Fortunately, he knew that was exactly where he needed to go.
An assistant basketball coach at Houston Baptist University, Key had everything a man could want: a loving wife, two beautiful children, and a job coaching the sport he loves at the Division I college level. Yet this life that most men would envy took a traumatic turn on May 15, 2010.
Key was driving to New Orleans to watch his brother become an ordained minister. In the back seat were his beloved "three redheads": his wife Sherry, eight-year old daughter Emma, and two-year old daughter Keily. Driving in intermittent rain just outside of Baton Rouge, Key's vehicle suddenly hydroplaned onto the other side of the highway, where it was struck by an 18-wheeler. The accident took Emma's life, and left Sherry with severe brain trauma, a broken right pelvis and a broken left humerus.
In the immediate aftermath of the crash, Key's idyllic life took a surreal turn: he buried his older daughter, sent his younger girl home to Texas in the care relatives, and stayed by Sherry's side at a Baton Rouge hospital-and later a Houston rehabilitation center-as she began an uphill battle to recover from the wounds of the crash.
Months of intense physical and cognitive therapy ensued. But there was one wound Sherry was not yet ready to know she had even suffered. It would be two months before Steven would be able to break the news that they had lost Emma. Sherry's brain injuries had severely affected her cognition and memory, and she was in no position to either mentally or emotionally process the news of their daughter's death.
Of course Sherry asked about the girls, and at times sensed that something was wrong. "It was the hardest thing each day having to get around the question," Key told Fox Sports. "We were afraid if we told her one day, she wouldn't be able to remember the next day."
Missing his older daughter who had gone home to the Lord, his younger girl who was in the care of family, and his wife who was struggling to regain her mental, emotional and physical health, Steven Key found himself in a position that may surprise many-a place of remarkable peace and growth in his Christian faith, and a re-commitment to give his all as a disciple of Jesus Christ.
"I have never felt closer to my Lord than in the past three weeks," Key wrote in a blog on June 3. "It's something I can't even begin to comprehend and won't try. I just know that He is at work and I see it. And I won't stand in his way, no matter what the path."
Devoted to the Christian faith given to him and nurtured by his parents, Key had the gift to not only recognize the blessings in the midst of this crisis, but to thrive instead of merely survive. He shared with Catholic Online the blog he has kept since the accident, to not only keep family and friends aware of the progress of Sherry's recovery, but to assure them of the steady guidance God has provided.
Another entry in his June 3rd post reads: "I pray that none of you ever has to go through anything remotely close to this. But I wouldn't change God's plan.. The Lord continues to provide, and continues to bless me each day with new challenges and new chances to be strong for HIM, not just my wife, my family and myself."
Reading Key's blog reveals more of the faith that guides him and gives him courage in each step of his life.
Writing on July 7, three days before he would tell Sherry the news of Emma's death, Key wrote: "I have faith that the Lord has been preparing Sherry's heart and mind for this news. I have faith that the Lord has been preparing my heart and my mind to be able to share it with her. I have faith that the Lord has been preparing my family and loved ones to be able to love, care and minister to us in the coming days. I have faith."
On July 11, the day after giving Sherry the tragic news, Key wrote: "Just as I thought many weeks ago, yesterday was the worst and best day of my life. It was the worst day because I had to break the heart of the person I love the most. It was the best day, because immediately following that, God began the process of healing our family."
His entry for July 16, the day Sherry came home, reads in part: "I sure do love my Savior. He has chosen to continue watching over my family every step of this journey. He has blessed us beyond belief. He has brought us through the valley, and He has made us whole again.. God truly knows how to make things work out. Why do we even question it or worry? All we need to do is bring it to him and trust.. I sure am happy. Thanks God."
The family's total abandonment to the love, mercy and providence of God is evident in this brief excerpt from Key's July 24 entry: "[Sherry] knows and understands that God has a plan, and while she doesn't understand it at all, she knows it is better than ours."
On August 29, the day after a memorial service for Emma, Key expressed the peace he feels in the midst of everything: "I still miss [Emma]-dearly. But I can honestly say: 'It is well, with my soul.'"
Seven months later, the family has recovered some sense of "normalcy." Sherry has made a remarkable recovery-physically, emotionally and spiritually-and has returned to her job as a technology director at Continental Airlines two days a week. She hopes to transition into full-time hours next year. Steven is back to work, as the Houston Baptist Huskies have begun their season. Yet the start of the basketball season has confronted Key with a difficult reality.
"I've been so consumed with making sure everything's taken care of that I don't think I ever had a chance to grieve," he told Fox Sports. "I was driving home [from practice] and realized the season is starting." He broke down and cried for 15 minutes.
The Huskies are wearing a patch with the letter "E" on their uniforms in Emma's memory. While that is a touching gesture, there is no greater tribute to Emma than the rock-solid earthly father she was blessed with, who continues to call on our Heavenly Father for healing and wholeness for his family.
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